Ive never been big headed but for once in my life im gonna say that I am sooososo proud of myself. Ive been through the hardest year that anyone could ever go through, no exaggeration.

I lost the most important person in my life, who was suppose to see me finish year 12, graduate & be so proud of me. But not only was she not there, neither was I myself which at the time I didn’t know much about cos I was on so much medication but now when I think about it it brings tears to my eyes knowing I missed out on the most important month of my life so far. But in a way im glad I did cos I know that when I went on that stage ide be only looking for one person, and not seeing her there would of broke my heart all over again. In a way im lucky because I don’t think I could have survived what I did without her magic. I love you mum im so thankful that once again you gave me another chance at life.

After losing her I came to realise a person who I once considered my everything, and based my whole life around turned out to be the biggest dog ive ever met in my life. The most heartless person ive ever met and im sure if use all knew why, youd agree! The things he did to me really cut me up but I was already broken at the time so it didn’t seem like much of a big deal but now I think wtf was I thinking. Hes one of those people that no matter what I always ran back to but this year on nyd I deleted his fb, number, our photos and havnt attempted to speak to him. To me that’s a massive thing seeing as though I was once obsessed.

Then, months later I got really close to a guy who was always there for me whenever I needed him. He was always just a call away and he always knew the right words to say to me to get me back on track. When I wanted to give up on life, quit school and my job and just be a depressed loser he told me all the reasons to keep going on and striving for my best, and it worked. In everyones eyes he may not have been the best person for me to hang around but once I got to know what he was really like I didn’t care what people thought it didn’t bother me because I knew the way I seen him was different to everyone else and that’s all that mattered. As weeks went on I found myself the happiest ive seen myself in soo long and it felt so good to finally have a reason to be able to smile without feeling guilty for it.

Then my accident happened and the paparazzi made me llook like the most sluttest girl in the world saying for one I was pregnant (pretty sure ude all be able tell by now if I was!), we were all drunk at a party (umm what party is on a Sunday night with school the next day?) and I had a boyfriend who was 23. Im not gonna lie he was pretty much like a boyfriend but wtf he isn’t 23 im not some boy crazy bitch that goes with any guy I come across, im smarter than that.

Then I went for over 2 months with a tracki in my throat that stopped me from talking and eating. Only god knows how I survived without talking but I did :/ I then had to learn how to eat again with cutlery as well as talk again because I always got confused with certain words people said. As my physio got more intense I realised how weak my right side was, there was a stage it was so weak I could barely lift it. It’s getting much better but it’s still a tad weaker than my left side. So therefore I’ve currently had to learn to use my left hand for nearly everything I once used my right side for. Then to top it all off I had to learn to walk again by myself. What 18 year old has to do that? At first I was so scared and would always hold onto everything to get me by but now im much steadier thank god J

Anyway the point of this was to let all the nosey weirdoos the truth about what happened, and to also state that no matter what ANYONE says or how anyone feels I have no hatred against anyone, I have my own mind and can think and talk for myself. Do I get angry? Ofcorse and always! Im constantly frustrated and angry about what has happened and seeing as though I have a massive scar on my throat that reminds me of it all everytime I see myself in a mirror,  I but I do realise as much as ide love to I cant reverse time and change anything, all I can do is move on with my life and try to make it as best as I can. Another point of this was to remind myself of how strong, brave and how much I have achieved in 5 months. 5 months ago they were saying when I woke up from my coma if I ever did, I would be a vegetable, never to be able to talk or walk ever again. I proved them suckers wrong J